Published by Linda on 12 Jul 2009
Over the past while, I’ve had a lot of people tell me they read my last blog and almost started crying?! Was it really that sad? Now I did want to pour my heart and soul into it, just because it was the summing up of my whole experience travelling but I didn’t think it sad really. So I re-read it and I still don’t see that it’s THAT bad. The funny thing is I do look at the photos now and kinda wonder, “did I really do all that”? Not in a sad way but in a kinda wow that was awesome way. Well it’s looks like me so I must have
Anyhoo, I’ve been writing a few blogs here and there, I suppose it’s habit and well, I kinda like writing too. I haven’t been publishing them as they’re probably not of any great interest but they do get my creative juices flowing. A lot of people have told me to keep it going and a few have said park it up, I dunno. It’s also weird to give people the inside track on you, because you do kinda forget that you’ve written something and then wonder how people know things! I’m very open in general but it feels like maybe it’s not something grown ups should do (ah I’m safe then!!) Anyhoo, I said this week, in case anyone thought I’m sitting at home curled up in a ball, twitching and sodden through from my own tears I said I’d do a little update.
So what have I been up to since? Well….. I’ve been very depressed, allergic, will never settle back, dear god how am I managing, etc, etc or SO I’VE BEEN TOLD – REPEATEDLY!!!! I can understand why people would think I’d be down in the dumps but let me set the record straight here, contrary to popular belief, the truth is I’m all good. Yes really!!!
What I have found is that people look at you, give you the head tilt (tilt your head, look concerned and you’ll get my drift) and say “ooh you’re really depressed, aren’t you”. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I honestly don’t feel like I look depressed. I’m pretty smiley and good humoured most of the time. That line “you’re really depressed……” is like check-mate though, the more you try to convince people you are, in fact all good, the more you look like you’re on the defensive and in denial, and so just end up convincing them even more!! No matter what way you respond, you CANNOT win You’d almost think people want you to be depressed – ah well really just because they keep saying it (I hope!)
It kinda amuses me though, the reaction I’ve been getting since coming back. I have to tell you my absolute favourite….a person (I’ll leave it vague) I know has asked me (a few times!!) “so what do you do now that you’re home?” What the hell? Whatcha mean what do I do, I do what everyone else does. Last time I did laugh and asked, well what do you do??? 😀 In general though people just tend to ask me where was my favourite place or where would I go back to. I kinda don’t like talking about the travels though, well because let’s face it, no one likes a holiday bore. I also get a lot of “Well, is it out of your system now, are you going to settle down”, blah, blah, etc. Aaaarrrggghhhhh leave me alone!!! I suppose people just care and are concerned, but that makes me feel bad because I did something great, not something that needs to draw concern.
Went back to work a week after coming home. Sounds nerdy but I actually don’t mind going to work, it’s always pretty good for me. That said, the night before starting back, to make it vintage Sunday night back to school blues, I was only short the theme song from Glenroe. (An old Irish soap opera that you didn’t want to watch but had to if only to make the weekend last half an hour longer and to distract you from that english essay you totally forgot about!!) I also had a mini heart attack standing on my driveway my first morning but there was no need for my nervousness at all. Work is great, the people are great and whilst I could be more *sigh* “illusioned” with my job (for a multitude of reasons) I really have no cause for complaint. Lots of changes there though, which can’t be a bad thing.
I feel settled back in nicely. Have had great weather since I came home, apart from a few days of rain here and there. The last couple of days have rained ALL DAY. I was almost at the press-my-nose-against-the-window stage so I said I might as well do a little writing. Have caught with most people by now, had some good nights out & catch up sessions, went to a gig or two but I haven’t been partying all that much to be honest. The baby train coupled with the economic “mess-ness” has definitely slowed people down a little. It’s been great though just to see how much has changed, and it has people, it really has. I guess people in my age bracket progress pretty quickly, i.e. there’s new babies all over the place The economic state of things must have been a whole lot worse nine months ago!!! Everyone reckons the year flew by and nothing changed but, take it from me, it did!! Maybe because I covered so much ground I felt I was away a lot longer than a year so maybe I’m just conscious of all the little changes.
So I suppose I have been keeping a lower profile than usual but this has kinda suited the pocket though as the rest of the summer is set to be pretty busy so I’m looking forward to that. Heading to a couple of concerts, some big bashes, a fab wedding and hopefully even a little holiday (the rain will finally get to me) squashed in there somewhere. I think I’ve also mentioned I need a new Lindy-project and I’m working on a couple of ideas there too.
And so I’m not sure why I felt the need to but hopefully have set the record straight that things are good, and whilst yes, it is great to be travelling and have the freedom to wander, you always know it can’t last forever. I guess I just had accepted that, even before I left. Other other hand if I win the lottery, you won’t see me for dust…… 😀
P.S. I’m not sure if I will make this a regular blog but I promise to change the site around if I’m gonna keep posting.